I LOOOOOVE a good story. I watch Dateline and 60 Minutes and Netflix documentaries and every crime and hospital show. I like courtroom drama. I like reality TV. I am one of few insane people that still watches MTV reality shows.
You could say that I need a life. That would be fair. But you could also recognize the wealth of experiences, lives and people that I have learned about thanks to my love of a story. This is all very humorous to those who know that while people's stories are my favorites, people themselves can WEAR ME OUT. I want to know what's going on, but I also want to move on when the story turns to unnecessary drama.
Here's the thing. I am amazed by what people have lived through. The life experiences and hard circumstances, the judgements and critiques, the setbacks and the comebacks, they fascinate me! People are strong. They are amazingly determined. People walk through fire for others and think nothing of the sacrifice. Humanity is simply inspiring.
If we all have great stories, do we hide them? Why, when we have already lived through them, do we think we can't talk about them?
Judgement
Comparison
People pleasing
just to name a few...
I have (and still do) battle all of these. But I have to tell you, the more that I live into the wildly open person that I am, the more that I hear that this way of life is refreshing. I'm over the facade. I'm done with fake. If you walk up to me and ask how I am, you will likely get the slap happy truth. Be warned, because some days are not pretty.
As I live into holistic authenticity, I find hope and refreshing peace. I also find the ability to walk away from game playing. This might be the greatest gift of my 40s. With a little life perspective and wisdom, I don't have to waste the energy to care about those who do not truly care about me.
And for those that do, the wealth of love and dedication that you get from me is fierce. I will show up in ways that you may not know what to do with. From learning to tell my true story, I have embraced humanity and all that is good and at the same time been freed from the expectations that the world places on 'peopling'. May we be honest. May we tell truth. May we love each other in big and contagious ways.
You are such a good truth and story teller Lacy. I have enjoyed reading your blogs. I do want to ask you about one line you have written in this blog..."I don't have to waste the energy to care about those who do not truly care about me." Can you share more about that. I struggle with this. I feel like we are to care for all - especially those that do not truly care in return. For, don't they have some deep seeded need or hurt? Just wanted to share my thoughts and hear more about yours. Leah
ReplyDeleteYes! When I say "care" I mean this in a way that takes emotional energy away from those that need me. I ABSOLUTELY agree that I must be genuinely kind and extend loving grace to all. Period.
ReplyDeleteWhat I find myself gaining freedom from is the desire to invest and nurture relationships with people that don't have the capacity and desire to do the same for me. My bucket of love energy is finite. If I spend some it on someone, someone else will get less. That's just my truth. I hope that by staying connected to God, I am increasing that supply, but I am human.
Part of letting go of people pleasing, again, FOR ME, is to recognize the times that I am expending my love energy in the wrong places. Does that mean that I can be a jerk or be critical or hateful? No. But does it mean that I don't have to become emotionally enmeshed in relationships that are not healthy or on level playing fields? YES! In this blog, I use the word 'care' in perhaps a deeper since. Healthy, whole, equal partnerships are life giving. I need these. And I must continually grown in choosing to invest in tending the life giving ones so that I have the capacity to love and be kind to all. Hope that helps!
Thanks for replying. I think this is an ongoing struggle for all Christians - boundaries. How do we love? How do we care for others?
ReplyDelete